The Morning Of ...

The following scene takes place in the registration area 30 minutes before the start of a new workshop.

Action!

Training Coordinator: If all 25 employees show up and stay until end of the workshop, it’ll be a success.

Instructional Designer: No worries. My four-part learning objectives are tight, and I gave the development team a perfect design document. This workshop’s going to be great!

Writer: My copy is perfect. I used appropriate vocabulary and kept sentence lengths within the specified ranges. I even threw in a few clever zingers to keep everyone on their toes. The workshop’s going to be a success!

Graphic Designer: Hey! Don’t forget my illustrations, 3-D renderings, and artful selection of stock photography. The workbook and PowerPoint slides are popping with interesting visuals. This is some of the best work in my portfolio, so the workshop’s going to be a success.

Testing Analyst: Lucky for all of you, the final exam for the workshop is perfect. Every test item aligns with learning objectives and is written to the best standards. Item and exam difficulty, reliability, and validity are all within statistical parameters. The workshop’s going to be great!

Subject Matter Expert: What do you any of you know about this topic anyway? You couldn’t have made this workshop without my input on every single detail. Because I’m so good at what I do and know so much about the topic, this workshop will be a success.

Trainer 1: It’s in the training team’s hands now. The workshop will be good only if we start and finish on time and get through the whole trainer’s guide. We’ll have to manage the classroom and schedule very tightly.

Trainer 2: Yeah, but if the trainees don’t have fun and aren’t engaged, the workshop won’t be a success.

Trainer 3: Come on guys. Don’t worry. If the workshop’s learner-centered and interactive, it’ll be a success.

Trainee 1: Maybe. But if the chairs aren’t comfortable, the lighting’s not just right, and the temperature isn’t the way we like it, the workshop won’t succeed.

Trainee 2: And the workshop won’t be a success if we don’t think it’s relevant to our work.

Trainee 3: That’s right. The workshop will be a success if I can do my job better when I return to work after training. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time as far as I’m concerned.

Supervisor 1: Sure, but I see some people here who don’t need this training, and I don’t see some folks who should be here. How can the workshop succeed if the right employees don’t attend?

Supervisor 2: Yeah, and who decided what everyone needs to learn in this workshop? I hope you didn’t ask the guys in the field. Their old-school practices are the reason why everyone needs training in the first place.

Supervisor 3: And I see the workshop’s scheduled for five days. I can’t afford to have my people out for more than one day, so they’ll need to report back to work tomorrow.

General Manager: Good morning, folks. I just stopped by to wish you luck. The executive management team also asked me to pass along their best wishes for a successful workshop. They’re expecting those sales numbers go up by at least 4% next quarter. (Looking at watch) Gotta run! Have a great workshop!

[Silence for 10 very uncomfortable seconds]

Supervisor: Sales? My team doesn’t do sales. I thought this was a Customer Service workshop.

Trainee: Why am I here? Our sales numbers were fine. I have the highest sales in the division.

Trainer: I prepared activities for Effective Presentation Skills, but I didn’t know this was for sales!

Subject Matter Expert: And why did you come to me for help? I’m the lead recruiter for HR!

Training Manager: (Just showing up) OK everybody! It looks like the room’s set up and ready to go. It’s time to get this workshop started. Let’s get in there and have the best Team Communication Skills workshop ever!

All: [Sit in stunned silence looking at one another.]

And … scene!